Defined as "The quality or state of being alone". Well, I hate to admit it but this is my greatest fear.
While most people face this after coming to US and in their mid 20's, I have faced this at a very young age and that is why I shudder to think of being alone. As I was the only child and both my parents were working, I have been exposed to being alone early in my childhood. My grandpa was living with us till I was 10 years old and after that he moved to live with his eldest son. Although, we had a house-keeper (Good old Seetha mami), there have been many occassions when I am just alone in the house with nothing to do. For some strange reason, there were no other kids of my age near my house to play with. So, I began to exercise imagination. I found comfort and refuge in books. And so I read and read and read (novels ofcouse). Ofcouse I had imaginary friends but soon realised that I was imagining ghosts as well ! So, I put an end to imaginary beings after that. It still gives me the creeps :-P
Anyways, to make a long story short; yes I was lonely and as a result I used to love to be in school and do masti. We had a telephone but I had not discovered the art of talking and wasting time on the phone till I was in 9th std.
When I look back now, I think I am able to handle a lot of setbacks and hurdles because of my experiences early in life. Coming back to the point I was trying to make, although I don't like being alone; there are times when I seek solitude and enjoy it. Then again, sometimes all I want to do is be around people. Anyway, all this talk about loneliness came up because of a question that has been on my mind. I don't know when Vikram would be able to come here after we are married and chances are that I may be alone for a few months. So, a part of me wants to take an apt and live alone; while another part of me says I would get depressed and should stay with roomates. I havent come to a decision yet. So, the argument continues in my mind.....
2 comments:
I would say that you should get an apartment and stay by yourself till Vikram comes. When I initially moved to the bay area and stayed by myself I thought I would pull out all my hair due to boredom. But after a couple of weeks I actually started to enjoy it and for the first time in a long while had a lot of time for myself. I think you should definitely give staying-by-yourself it a shot - probably you wont get too many of these chances later ;-).
Of course, too much of time alone can get frustrating at times - but since you have a whole bunch of friends nearby I think you should be able to manage just fine till Vikram joins you.
There was a typo in my reply and so
I deleted it; anyways, wat I wanted to say was that just yesterday I made up
my mind to live alone and experience it. :-)
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